The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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