doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just googled if crying burns calories
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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