He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
