You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
its liver damage thursday
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
