'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Randomize
