that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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