Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We need a shit load of segways right now
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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