ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We had sex on a dog bed..
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
