he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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