Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
