I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
