he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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