i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
