Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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