6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
