If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
