Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
