Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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