I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
