I need help removing her.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize