My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
