They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I want a musical about memes.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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