someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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