He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
