Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
