i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
