his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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