And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
