It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
