Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
