she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We are two peas in an std pod
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
