K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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