I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
