I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize