the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
