chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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