Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
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