he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
