we're blogging at a bar
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I love you.
Bad choice
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