At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
