I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
