hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
