just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
