SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
