This girl is more easily done than said...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
