I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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