Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
