I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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