I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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