Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize