I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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