Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize