I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
