People in love make me want to vomit
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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