i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
