Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
