You can't motorboat a personality
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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