I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She bit a glass in half.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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