Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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