He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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