Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
