Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
