I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
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