I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize