why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
