just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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