Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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